Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
