so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
