I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
