Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
