yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
