I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
