maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Barsexuality is the new black.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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