ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
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Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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