Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
