I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
