so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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