No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
