Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
