Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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