She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
