Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
