:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
