The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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