Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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