Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
