It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
