it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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