Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
