I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
