I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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