Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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