I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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