no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
