we're blogging at a bar
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.