I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.