I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.