he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
