Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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