you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
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