I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
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I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
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Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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