Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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