Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
