He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
