It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
