This girl is more easily done than said...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
