My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would photoshop your dick
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
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