whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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