you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We had sex on a dog bed..
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
