My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
