yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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