I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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