Tell her she can't have a vagina
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
