Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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