he wants to bone in the snuggie
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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