at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
