It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
