if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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