Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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