Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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