I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
