i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
