Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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