i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
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It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
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I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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