I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
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