Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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