I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
