This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
