I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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