dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
