Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
