and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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